MILDLY BITTER

Author's note - I suspect being British or appreciating how Brits behave when the weather suddenly improves as summer pays its annual fleeting visit would help your understanding here. Knowing something about British roads and pubs would also be an asset.


‘Won’t be long.’

He squeezes her arm before leaving. Which way will be quickest? He isn’t familiar with the area so he’s not sure what to do. So he watches for a moment. They seem to know where they’re going. I’ll follow them. Decisive. Confident. Assured. He’ll be there and back in no time. Good plan!

Two minutes pass. Progress has been minimal. Is following others such a great idea? From where he is now, maybe the blind are leading the blind. He isn’t moving, this much is painfully obvious. The others are just in front of him, similarly immobile.

People are behind him, blocking his exit. He’s stuck. Nothing he can do. He looks up at the sky for wont of something to occupy his precious time. Solid blue. It explains why so many people are around. This doesn’t happen very often. Everyone wants to take advantage when it does. Understandable in this changeable climate.

What is that kid doing? He watches from a distance as a boy in shorts opens a car door and exits the thankfully stationary vehicle. Complete madness. Surely his parents know what he’s just done? Why aren’t they shouting at him to get back in the car? Children and cars: a potentially life-threatening combination. Everyone knows that. Should he do something?

The queue moves forward suddenly, interrupting his thought process. Worries about the well-being of the kid are immediately forgotten as he progresses a couple of yards before stopping again. Now he can see what’s causing the blockage. He’s nearer to it than he expected it to be, which he takes as a good sign. More importantly, beyond the blockage it seems clear. Maybe this delay is beginning to dissipate. His mood improves.

It’s getting hotter. How can it be at this time of day? He looks at his watch to make sure. 6pm. If anything, the temperature should be starting to go down now.  Is this another example of the effects of global warming? He surveys the scene. Everyone he sees appears hot and bothered, so it’s not just him.  Somehow, it makes him feel better.

Sorry mate, not a chance. Someone is trying to cut him up. Cheeky bastard! He closes the gap between himself and the person in front to reinforce temporary ownership of the space he currently occupies. As he does so, the queue moves forward again. He manages to keep the gap as small as he can. The interloper backs off, defeated. Another couple of yards nearer to the goal and drama averted.

There’s an argument in progress. He thinks he can hear raised voices despite everything. The guy he thwarted moments ago is trying it on with someone behind him. Sounds as though he’s not having any success. Serves him right!

Another look at the watch. It’s ten minutes since he left her. At this rate, he won’t get back anytime soon. He hopes she’s OK. The queue begins to move. Then it stops. Then it moves again. Then it stops again. Why is this happening? He cranes his neck in search of an explanation. Nothing obvious to be seen, but he’s getting closer to the root of the problem.

Sirens. Two emergency vehicles go past at walking pace. Not possible for them to go quicker because of the rush hour traffic. Their flashing lights aren’t having the desired effect. The wailing noises change tone as they continue past him. Obviously, they aren’t stopping here. Despite this, he hopes they manage to resolve whatever it is they found it necessary to put on sirens for. Some situations are much worse than others. Keep perspective.

The queue moves forwards again. The end is in sight! This hold-up is making him twitchy. All his petty prejudices are coming to the fore. Why do drivers feel the need to play music at such high volume with their car windows open when the sun shines? And why is the music always so bloody awful? He can hear the incessant basslines thumping out from yards away. Total ignorance or massive arrogance. Either way, completely unnecessary.

The queue suddenly and miraculously clears. That’s more like it! He reaches ground zero.

‘A large G & T and a pint of bitter shandy please,’ he says. ‘Thought I’d never get to the bar.’

The server smiles. ‘Extra staff have just started. Sorry you had to wait so long.’

He walks back towards the outside table with the drinks. That kid is still playing in the carpark. The adjacent road remains busy but none of the vehicles are blasting music out through their windows now. Good.

He reaches his destination and flops down in the uncomfortable metal chair. ‘Cheers!’

‘Where’s the ice?’ she asks. ‘I did tell you

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